While trimming the tree, we were struck by how many decorations represented connections to friends and loved ones who would not be part of this holiday season. Some have moved away, others have moved on and, of course, some have passed. In each case, the ornaments were there to remind us of them as we celebrated the season.

Change was not limited to the tree. In 2010, as each year recently, fewer decorations went up around the house. There are 5 Santa’s Villages that didn’t make it down from the attic. Decorating every room just hasn’t stayed the priority it used to be.

Please don’t misunderstand; our Christmas isn’t turning into something bleak or empty. It is simply evolving. Just as when the family was new and young, the holidays grew and expanded. Old traditions merged with new ones. There was change and that was good. This is change, now too, and that isn’t bad.

Sometimes things just are. Not better or worse, not more or less, just different. At an earlier time, we were too busy to notice, even in the midst of change. Now, things have slowed down a bit, allowing us to be more aware.

So, once again, we strung the lights and hung the ornaments. CD’s of old favorites filled the air with familiar songs. One at a time, ornaments came out of their boxes, each with its story. And there was time to let each one tell its tale, which meant an extra eggnog, another song, and the opportunity to enjoy a bit of all those Christmases upon which this one was built. All those friends. All that family. All that love in our lives.

Maybe that is part of the miracle of this special time of year. Christmas, Hanukah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, New Years, filling a season when we treasure memories of companionship and joy, love and fellowship.

Holiday upon holiday, we have somehow grown a bit grey and wrinkled but we’re still capable of a twinkle or two, which is just fine because Aging in Place doesn’t happen by accident.

Throughout our area, there are many communities in various stages of making things more aging-friendly for their neighbors and themselves. This author has been privileged to be part of some and has witnessed others. For most, the biggest stumbling block is that of scale. So much needs to be done. The challenge cries out for large steps to accomplish grand goals. Unfortunately, this usually means delays while grants are written and applied for, surveys are taken, and various factions develop and deploy.

Back in June of 2009, a gathering at the public library in Norwich, Vermont led to something happening, and happening right away. The group agreed that getting started was the most important thing. It only took the hundred or so people that afternoon to begin making difference in their lives and those of their neighbors.

“. . . we’re just offering a service day every month or two, which we organize by rounding up volunteers to help individuals with ordinary tasks they can no longer do themselves,” explained Judy  Pond, one of the board members of Aging in Place, Norwich Vermont.

The effort to build something to help older residents age where they live isn’t just altruistic. Judy put it very simply, “Lots of us are newly retired, still able-bodied and eager to build a strong organization that can help us when we need it.” Working to take care of each other because it serves our own interest to do so is about as good a definition of community as there is.

One thinks of the old Chinese saying, “A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.” In Norwich, they have taken that first step and many more, doing little things in simple ways and making a big difference.

You can see for yourself what is going on in the Upper Valley by visiting their website at aginginplacenorwich.org.

Aging in Place is not an abstract. It isn’t just someone else’s struggle, either. Whatever one’s current age, we are all in this growing old thing together. It is the one universal absolute. The battle over Aging in Place issues won’t be won in the halls of Congress or the corridors of the state Capital. There is no perfect solution to be implemented from far away.

It is all about little things done gently between neighbors who might even be strangers. We will accomplish the most we can by doing whatever we can as the opportunities arise or are created. Little steps, because Aging in Place doesn’t happen by accident.

Packaging – A Sign of Aging?

Am I the only one who is starting to hate packaging? You know: all the stuff that contains the things we actually bought and want to get at.

Is it a sign of aging that I have to use scissors to get into my cereal? I can remember opening a box of corn flakes in a manly and robust way. Yes, I can still get through the cardboard box part. But then the poly-whatever bag that stands between me and my breakfast just doesn’t want to give, no matter how much I pull and tug. Once I tried popping it. The bag opened with a pleasing “Pop”. Unfortunately, it also rained cereal all over the kitchen. So, now I’ve resigned myself to cutting my way in with scissors.

Or how about CD’s and DVD’s? OK, I understand the need to wrap them in a big plastic container so I won’t slip the thing into my coat pocket and sneak off. But once I cut my way into that, why is it necessary to have the case sealed with invisible tape? My daughter can operate the tape, but I can’t. It’s so frustrating I finally gave up buying new CD’s and DVD’s all together. Now, I either get them at the library or buy used, after someone else has gone through the trouble of opening the box. I’d rather risk a scratched disk than spend the day fighting that tape.

And what about my medications? Do they really think people with the ailments my prescriptions are for still have kids in the house? Those child-proof caps are probably the most effective gadget we have designed in this country since the can-opener -- kids can’t open them, but neither can I. Why not have some sort of disclaimer I can sign at the pharmacy which promises there are no children in my house and if any visit and they find my med’s lying around and they take them, it’s my fault. Blame me, ’cause guess what? If I leave my medicines around and a child gets into them IT IS MY FAULT!     

I can remember a time when opening a purchase was part of the pleasure, like gift wrap. You zipped your finger along the side of an album and the cellophane wrapping parted to reveal your record. Cereal boxes opened with ease and the smell of the toasted flakes greeted you like a familiar friend. Packaging enhanced the experience instead of being an obstacle.

So, is it me getting older and a bit grumpy? Or was packaging really friendlier in the good old days?

 Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.

Just like every other part of their lives, the Baby Boomers’ entrance into the reverse mortgage market is resulting in significant changes.  Most Boomers are much more comfortable with debt than their parents and more “hands-on” with their financial strategies.

Since Boomers began reaching age 62 (the qualifying age for a reverse mortgage), we have seen closing costs drop significantly.  Gone are the mandatory charges for origination fees and the Up Front Premium for the FHA insurance.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.  You may be asking, what is a reverse mortgage, anyway?  Well, it is a bank loan secured by the primary residence of the borrower, but with some differences tailored to retirees:

            A reverse mortgage doesn’t come due until the last borrower dies, moves or sells,         so it can last for the rest of one’s life. 

            You don’t have to make payments. (You can, but you don’t have to.)  Instead, you       borrow the money you get and you borrow the interest on that money. This means your debt increases until you or your heirs pay off the mortgage.

            The FHA (Federal Housing Administration) insurance protects the borrower and           his/her heirs from owing more than the value of the house at the time of sale (so   you can’t be “under water”).  It also insures the equity line so the borrower can be           sure the money will be available.

Now, back to those fees.  Recently, they have started to come back, but as an option. Previously, there was no choice; the fees were part of every loan.  Now borrowers can decide how much of their home equity they want to access.  Higher fees usually make more home equity available from the start.

You can now get a reverse mortgage for about the cost of a regular mortgage.  Or you can choose from a range of options offering a variety of fees and loan amounts.

Lending limits remain higher, at $625,500.  Reverse mortgages can also be used for home purchases.  The FHA-required borrower counseling has become more extensive.  As the many ads on TV demonstrate, more companies are offering reverse mortgages.

As with any financial decision, one needs to do the research.  The National Reverse Mortgage Lenders Association (NRMLA) has an excellent website. Check with your local bank or credit union for guidance and, of course, involve those financial professionals, friends and family members whose guidance you value.

Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.

There are two absolutes that often define how we see ourselves: driving and housing. Both may need to change as we age. It is a real toss-up which is harder to deal with, but the one we can assert the greatest control over is housing.

A home can be more than a castle; it may be a refuge, the repository of a lifetime of memories and mementoes, the hub of our social network and support system, and the place we simply feel most comfortable.

It should be no surprise that we hang on and even struggle mightily to stay in that home, even if the neighborhood has changed, the upkeep is beyond our means, and people we knew have moved or passed away.

But the battle to stay in place conflicts with the holistic values of Aging in Place, if it doesn’t take into account quality of life. Some questions need to be asked, “Is this sustainable? Is life here the best life now and in the future?” If the answers come back “no” then it could be time to transition to another home.

If a move is going to happen, the sooner it is accomplished the more successful it will be.  Moving sooner rather than later gives us more control of our choices. It also affords a greater opportunity for a positive, proactive adjustment to the new residence.

Where to go is probably the toughest decision, next to the decision to move at all. Will it be from the country to the city, or from a house to a condo?  Is renting is the better option?  What about relocation to another state or climate? Maybe an adult community or assisted living is most appropriate.

This is a complex transition. Reaching out for support from family and friends is crucial. It might also be a good time for consulting with financial and legal professionals.

How to get there brings in more professionals, people who specialize in assisting retirees with things like buying and selling homes. Financing options for the next property include paying cash, a traditional mortgage or a reverse mortgage.

Empty Nesters have lots of choices and decisions to make. Downsizing can help enhance quality of life, simplify things, increase available wealth, or settle us into a new phase of life.  This may also be a wonderful chance to distribute possessions in a way that insures our memories will live on in the homes and hearts of loved ones.  Facing decisions and choices as early as possible assures the greatest success as we strive to insure a long and happy retirement.

Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.

Recently, I naively sought out information about Medigap Insurance. My expectation was this would be an easy matter; after all how complicated could filling a gap be?

Well, it turns out to be incredibly complicated. There are age rules, penalties, limited enrollment periods, and a lot of different programs with different insurance companies offering different coverage at (you guessed it) different prices.

I intended this article to help you better understand Medigap Insurance, but that goal has been lowered significantly. I’ll refrain from railing about how confusing the whole Medicare thing is.  Instead, I’ll try to hit some highlights that remind me of the advice a CPA once gave me about taxes: “If you want to save on taxes, complicate your life.”

As with Medicaid, you must sign up for Medigap Insurance when you are 65, unless you have Credible Coverage. If you are still working, for example, and your employer is paying a Medigap equivalent, they can provide you with a Credible Coverage form to submit as proof of coverage. (You should keep this proof for the rest of your life in case of future challenges to your continuity of coverage.)

The window for signing up or changing policies is at the end of each year unless you experience a qualifying event. But don’t wait until October; begin exploring your options when you turn 64 or as soon as you know you need a change.

The Medigap plans available range from zero premiums with deductibles as high as $4,000 to monthly premiums and lower deductibles. If you have a monthly premium, it is deducted from your Social Security check. If the insurance company raises that premium, you may take the hit to your monthly check but not be aware of the increase. I’d call that cost creep and it is hard keep track of, especially if you have had the same policy for a decade and the increases were small but consistent.

Since the costs and coverage can change, it is important to review your Medigap policy each year. Whether you work with an 800 number or a local agent, take the time to call or meet so you can better understand changes and any new options available.

Since Medigap Insurance often includes prescription drug coverage, an annual review is doubly important. You don’t want to find out at the drugstore your $400 a month prescription is no longer covered.

If you are assisting an older friend or loved one, be sure to add an annual review of all insurance coverage to the long list of tasks you are already trying to manage.

Yes, this is complicated, but to paraphrase my CPA, if you want a successful retirement, complicate your life. After all, Aging in Place doesn’t happen by accident.

Dancing for the Oldies?

Recently, we were at a U.S.A. Dance ballroom event. The dancers ranged from high school age through to, well, let’s just say folks who left school a long, long time ago, and from novice to international competitors. It was a lovely night and we came home exhilarated and exhausted.

One of the pleasures of the evening was watching couples who have danced together forty or fifty years. When they take to the floor, a transformation occurs.  Time and care fall away and we glimpse the glow of long affection as they glide together with practiced ease.

I saw a gentleman strain to rise from his chair, and then as he began to dance, there was no sign of age in those agile legs. We visited a bit with him and his wife. They had danced to most of the big bands:  Bennie Goodman, Tommy Dorsey, and many more. “Everyone came to Vermont. Back then we had big clubs in Brattleboro, Newport, Rutland, Burlington. You could go dancing to a big name every weekend.”

The next song was swing number and they were up and off. As he twirled her around, you could almost see the years spin away. Time, it seems, keeps a different beat on the dance floor.

So, we are learning to dance. Actually, I am learning to dance. My lovely wife, Kelly, is a wonderful dancer. Me, I’m a hazard with two left feet who has to count the steps out loud to keep the beat, but I keep trying and we enjoy it!

All the effort is worth it.  Dancing is a very healthy, wonderful way to stay active and we don’t “age out”.  It keeps us limber and helps with balance.  Learning new steps simulates the brain and, oh yes, it is a lovely way to spend an evening.

While there may not be as many places to dance as there were in the 50’s, we have access to a wide range of music and styles. Vermont has many venues for dancing. Whether it is formal lessons or a half hour basic before the band begins, getting started is much easier than you might expect.

Best of all, the dance floor is one of the friendliest places you can find. Social dancing encourages exchanging partners and meeting new friends. Couples, singles, youngish and older are all welcome and if you don’t need encouragement you can offer it. So, check your local calendar of events and give it a spin.

Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.

We are coming up on the anniversary of a very important event in the life of my face.  A couple of years ago, I put down my multi-blade, took up an old-fashioned, double-edged safety razor and slipped back in time to where shaving is an art form and a pleasure.  

It all started with razor burn.  With an increasing number of blades in the cartridge (5 at that point), the experience was getting worse, not better. In my frustration, I Googled shaving and two things I found surprised me.

The first was that the invention of multi-blades was not about the best possible shave. Razor companies didn’t like the fact that you could use anybody’s blade in your razor. With multi-blades, only that manufacture’s cartridge will fit. So, once you buy the razor, there is no competition for cartridges and no surprise: the cartridge is the expensive part.

The second thing I found is a large movement back to safety razors. Why?  The blades are inexpensive and can last a month or more. Oh, yes, and the safety razor gives a far better shave. Less cost, less razor burn and a better shave -- I was converted.

The razors range around $20-$40 and up on ebay or you can buy new ($50 to $250) from the manufacturer or on countless other sites. I found my Gillette “Fat Boy Adjustable” in a pile at an antique shop down in Quechee, VT for $7.

Then I went back on-line and searched for blades, pre-shaving lotion and aftershave lotion.  By the time I was done, I’d spent around $75 for supplies that lasted for months.

The final step, learning to shave, was the hardest.  I ended up on a website called Art of Manliness.  It sounds corny, but the site features a lot of old-fashioned advice from how to tip your hat to how to shave your face.  So, I printed out the shaving instructions and studied like there were final exams.

When the supplies arrived, I spent another couple of weeks just staring at the razor. The first time I put in a blade it was like a space-docking maneuver. I was so afraid of slicing my finger off.

Yes, it was an ugly learning curve. The hardest part turned out to be not the razor, but the speed. I had to learn to take my time. Once I achieved that, the shaving became not only easier, but pleasurable. To my surprise, I now actually enjoy shaving! 

So, grandpa/ma, don’t throw out those old razors; save them for the kids or sell them on ebay. Your style of shaving is coming back!

Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.

Most of us have held lifelong core beliefs about home ownership. These values were founded in the experiences of several generations over the last 70 or so years.  I would suggest that we hold these beliefs so deeply, we are often directed by them without even being aware of it.

Because of our parents’ or grandparents’ experiences during the depression, we were raised to pay off mortgages as soon as possible and to believe that having no mortgage was better than having any mortgage.

In the 1950’s as more and more GI’s and other Americans bought homes, prices went up.  In the ’60’s and ’70’s their children, the Baby Boomers, bought more homes driving the valuing of real estate higher.  For 50 years, it seemed as though prices could only go one way.

That brings us to our current situation.  With the bursting of the real estate bubble, we all learned that houses don’t always go up in value and we can’t always sell our homes or even get a mortgage.

Yet most of us continue to operate under the old paradigms.  Instead of putting more away in a college fund or retirement account, we are switching from a 30 to a 15 year mortgage so we can pay it off faster.  Instead of life insurance as a legacy strategy, we hope to pass the home along to the kids.  Most financial professionals don’t even track home equity as an asset as they work to manage risk and wealth.

For those who are retired, options may include downsizing, selling or getting a reverse mortgage.  For those preparing for retirement, continuing with a strategy which may not be in tune with the present and foreseeable future could have devastating results.

So, what is my point?  We all may want to take a long hard look at what is happening in the real estate market.  Then we might want to examine our views on home equity to be sure we are managing all our wealth with clear assumptions.

None of us know when or how this economy will change.  That is why open discussions with our financial advisors, family and trusted supporters are so important.  As we re-examine our investments, retirement funds and other financial strategies, should we be taking a long, hard look at our home equity, too?

Perhaps a home isn’t so much an investment as a place to live.  After all, where we Age in Place is the biggest part of Aging in Place and it doesn’t happen by accident.

Medicare Enrollment Time, Again

Most of us have already had our first frost warning.  Autumn leaves are falling, it is time to start putting the garden to bed, fresh-pressed cider is available again, and it is Medicare enrollment time. These are all signs of the season. Most of us pay the least attention to the last one.

There are some differences this year. First of all, we have an extra month. Enrollment runs from October 15^th through December 31^st. This gives us more time to compare our plans. The best way to take advantage of that is to start right away.

Whether for ourselves or for those we assist, this opportunity is an important one because costs and coverage can vary from provider to provider. Especially with Part D, the prescription drug coverage, what is covered and what it costs needs to be checked annually. Last year’s coverage may still be the best, but without checking who can be sure?

We change, too. Perhaps changes in our health make it advantageous to switch from a traditional Medicare plan to a Medicare Advantage Plan. Or maybe it should be switched the other way around.  Did the doctor prescribe new medication and does our old plan cover it? If the doctor cancelled a medication, is it still being shipped automatically?

Where do we go for help with this? There is Medicare’s website, medicare.gov, or their toll free number, 800-633-4227. For face-to-face assistance, call 2-1-1 or the Senior Help Line at 800-642-5119 to be connected with your local Agency on Aging.

This is also a great time to check the expiration dates on all medications, both prescription and over-the-counter. Dispose of the old ones, but don’t just pour them down the sink or flush them down the toilet. Most pharmacies will accept old medications for disposal. Those that don’t should be able to offer advice on where to take them.

So, we need to compare our plans, check our drugs, and then treat ourselves to some nice fresh cider. Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.

Preparing for Emergencies

Vermont’s recent experience with Irene brings home again the importance of preparing for emergencies.

In our house, we have some bottled water stored.  New, working flashlights have replaced the old ones and their corroded batteries. We have some preserved and canned food we can eat without the need of a microwave or our electric stove.

But what we didn’t have until recently is a list complete list with all our bank accounts, insurance policies, medicines, doctors, and family members’ names and contact information.  These are things needed by someone else who might help manage our affairs if we were incapacitated or worse.

It is hard enough to step in and handle someone else’s affairs without having to track down the details or figure out the particulars.  At a recent conference we learned of a wonderful list that includes everything from our allergies to the vet’s number and the dog’s favorite toys. Making that list and sharing a copy with a trusted friend or relative can make it a lot easier for them to support us when we need it most. It will also save a lot of stress and time for whoever is left with the task of managing our estate.

While no one likes to think about such occurrences, preparing for them can make things go more smoothly. It can also insure that our wishes and best interests are acted upon. For the best results, two steps are necessary:  first there is completing the questionnaire so everything is in writing; next is sharing the information and the form so you know it’s understood and in good hands.

We would be happy to send the Preparing for Emergencies sheets anyone for free. Simply call us toll free at 866-342-2035. We will mail or email everything you need to get things started.

Did you ever dream growing older would involve so much paperwork?  Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.

Holiday Time is an Aging in Place Opportunity

Here is a reprise of a column from years past.   In light of the tremendous response to our offer last month of forms to help organize personal information for possible emergencies, we suggest readers may add collecting and sharing such information to the opportunities of the season.

The holidays are an excellent time to build bridges of understanding and support between generations in a family. This is especially true for families who live further apart.

For the adult child, it is an opportunity to notice changes in their parents. Is Mom or Dad slowing down a little? Are they less involved in church or community? Are there signs of deferred maintenance on the house?

This isn’t about looking for problems. It is seeking opportunities to appreciate what is behind changes so we can provide support.

For retirees, now could be good time to share how difficult it has become to keep track of all the bills or that it’s getting harder to drive at night. If those big holiday feasts are becoming more exhausting, maybe the tradition can be passed on or shared. Cost, time and energy can be overwhelming when it comes to entertaining several generations of loving family. What comes as a surprise to many is that rotating the festivities not only divides the work but can multiply the fun as well.

With the present financial uncertainty, this may also be a good time to revisit holiday giving. In my family, we are talking about meaningful gifts rather than plentiful. That can mean making gifts or passing things along from one home to another rather than shopping and spending. Yankee swaps stretch out the gift-giving and the fun. Holidays can also be a wonderful time to pass down heirlooms or treasured tokens.

These are sacred days ahead for all of us. The joyous season brings our generations together like no other time of year. As we gather to share traditions of faith, memories, and the company of family and friends, we can also make new traditions and learn new ways to give and receive.

Aging in Place, it doesn’t happen by accident.